When the doctor sent me home from the hospital earlier that day, he re-emphasized how important it was to come back into the hospital if anything changed and I started showing signs of pre-eclampsia such as blurry vision or headaches. My high blood pressure hadn't subsided at all that day, I was definitely worried that I wouldn't pick up on any symptoms and I would be harming my babies without even knowing it.
Worrying about pre-eclampsia wasn't the only thing keeping me awake that night, though. I was a nervous wreck! In just a few short hours, I would be meeting the two little babies who had karate chopped the insides of me for months. Not only would I be adding a new title to my name (Mommy), I would be adding two new lives to this world. Lives that Kyle and I would be in charge of. Lord, help us all. I certainly didn't feel like I was ready to be a mom...even though I had no choice in the matter at that point.
Don't get me wrong, I was not only feeling negative emotions...though I wouldn't exactly call them negative because I did want to meet my twins. I was just nervous. Babies are scarce (more like non-existent) in my family and I have never had experience with them. Neither has my brother, which makes me feel a little better knowing that I wasn't the only one. Changing one of my twins' diapers would literally be the first time I had changed a diaper. Having two at one time was going to be even more of a challenge and world changer than just one. So, considering this and some other things I was feeling, I think it was more than fair for my nervousness.
Around 3:30am, I couldn't sleep anymore. I woke up and went to take a shower. I had to remove all metal from my body which meant no more nose ring for me, which made me a little sad actually. Kyle woke up soon after and we started getting ready. I already had most of my stuff packed for the hospital, although I wasn't exactly sure what I'd need. I wasn't allowed to drink or eat anything after a certain time since I was having surgery. When you're told you can't drink anything, not even water, you automatically become thirstier. I couldn't wait to get the hospital to get this show on the road, just so I could guzzle some water!
We arrived at the postpartum department a little before 5am and checked in. The nurse checking us in ended up being from Kentucky. She noticed Kyle's phone number and asked if he was from KY based on the area code. Small world! She grew up in Georgetown and graduated from Scott County in 2009. We certainly don't meet many Kentuckians, so it was neat to meet her.
Soon, I was changed into my gown and Kyle was in his scrubs. They put on my hospital bracelets, did my vitals, had me sign paperwork, etc. We waited for a little bit (shocking to have to sit and wait in a hospital...) and eventually they came back and led us back to the OR prep room. I got to see my doctor, the anesthesiologist, and some of the nurses that would be in the OR with me. They explained the process and risks involved, etc. When they took me into the OR, Kyle had to stay in the waiting room until they had given me the spinal anesthesia and were ready to get started.
When I was wheeled into the room, I had to transfer from my bed onto the operating table. Of course, the back of me wasn't exactly covered since I only had on a nursing gown. Showing off my butt to a bunch of strangers isn't exactly how I like to get to know a group of people. I had to sit up on the edge of the operating table with my feet dangling over the side. A nurse came over and found the heartbeats of both babies with a monitor and reported it to the anesthesiologist. Then, he started working on the spinal anesthesia. He was going to numb me from the chest down, so I would be awake during the procedure. I had to hunch over while he administered the drugs, etc. When he inserted the fluids, it started to burn and I could feel it travel up and down my spine. When he injected the last numbing agent, I could feel the tingling begin all the way down in my toes. Quickly they laid me back into position before too much of me became too numb to reposition, etc.
Once I was in place and numb, I had a catheter inserted. Thankfully I couldn't feel it or I probably would have had a minor freak out. You do realize where that goes, right? They also tied down my legs so they didn't get knocked off the table in any way. Since I would be completely numb, that could be disastrous. My arms were spread out, laid out on boards and I formed a human T. I was also given oxygen and told I would need to keep it until both babies were extracted. While the numbness had taken over my body, I noticed that it was a little more difficult to breathe. Having absolutely no control over my chest made it seem like I had a boulder sitting on me, so I had to really focus on inhaling and exhaling. I can't imagine what someone who is claustrophobic would do in that situation.
Right before they started, Kyle was escorted into the room. I felt like it didn't take any time at all after he got there for it to start and for the babies to be born! It was a really surreal experience. I heard a baby screaming and my doctor said, "It's a girl!" That meant that Baby A officially was named Emmalyn! According to Kyle she was really messy. They laid her on the table and started to clean her off and the anesthesiologist told Kyle to get the camera and took a few pictures. Then they said that I would feel a little pressure since my OB had to turn Baby B around (since she was breach) while trying to pull her out. They were able to pull Harper out without any problems and Kyle said she was cleaner than Emmalyn.
Kyle was able to move around the room, to look at the babies and take some pictures. He also was able to cut the umbilical cords. The nurses cleaned off the babies, wrapped them up and handled them to Kyle. He came over to me so I could see our new baby girls! I tried really hard not to cry when I watched Kyle hold one of our girls for the first time. It was such a sweet thing to see.
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| Our first family picture as well as Dr. Terpstra! |
So, on February 21, 2014:
Emmalyn Grace was born at 8:08am, weighed 5lbs 5oz and measured 17.5 inches long.
Harper Marie was born at 8:09am, weighed 5lbs 4oz and measured 17.5 inches long.
Kyle left with some of the nurses and the babies to go to the nursery. I had to stay for a while longer while the doctors finished the operation. It felt like it took forever and before they were finished I was starting to feel a little tingling again back down in my toes. I told the anesthesiologist about it and he said it was okay since I didn't feel anything in my torso area and they were almost finished with the procedure.
They finally wheeled me into the recovery room where I had to stay for a while. I was still really thirsty at this point but they wouldn't let me drink anything! I was allowed to enjoy the occasional ice chip which is just a tease. My heart rate was pretty slow during my recovery and my blood pressure was still somewhat high so they kept me in the recovery room longer than I wanted. Slowly, the feelings came back and it was weird since I tingled all over my body! Kyle came and sat with me for a while but went back and forth between me and the babies.
Before they wheeled me into my postpartum room, they took me in my bed over to the nursery to see my baby girls for the first time since they were delivered. When I saw them, they were all hooked up to oxygen and IVs, etc. Poor little Emmalyn had tubes in her mouth and attached to her nose. She was struggling with her oxygen more than Harper. It was such a sad sight to see. I obviously couldn't hold her and I didn't get to hold Harper either. I was exhausted and was only there for a few minutes before they took me back to my room.
I had to stay in my bed until the doctors said otherwise. They wanted me to be up and walking within 8 hours....just 8 hours after surgery! They clearly had high hopes for me. I also couldn't chug any water like I wanted. I had to be very slow, so I was only allowed to take sips. For dinner that night, I was given some jell-o, coffee, juice, a frozen drink and some beef broth. Sounds appetizing, right?
I was also incredibly dizzy and light headed. Any type of head movement and I felt nauseous. When they finally wanted me to get up and move, I ended up throwing up every liquid I had managed to intake. It was pretty painful, too. You don't realize just how much you use your abdominal muscles until they cause intense pain when used. I couldn't cough, sneeze, laugh, etc without experiencing a massive amount of pain. In fact, I couldn't even actually cough because it hurt too much to do so. When I had a tickle in my throat, it was one of the worst experiences to deal with.
After they removed my catheter, I had 6 hours to use the bathroom myself or they would reinsert one. Obviously I was motivated. Thankfully, I succeeded! Since I was up moving around...kind of...I was wheeled down to the nursery to see my baby girls again. I was beyond exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open and the fact they were giving me medications where nausea was a symptom wasn't helping. They handed Harper to me and I tried to hold on as long as possible but my eyes were drooping and I couldn't stay long for fear of falling asleep so Kyle wheeled me back to my room.
By the end of the night they had taken Emmalyn off all the extra oxygen which was fantastic. We were so glad that she was doing okay! Harper had been taken off her oxygen earlier in the day so both babies were doing better.
The next day I was feeling a little better. We went back down to the nursery in the morning so I could see my baby girls without fear of falling asleep! We were able to hold them both. I was so happy to hold our baby girls! We went back and forth from my room to the nursery throughout the day. I was finally able to try breastfeeding, too. That was quite an experience. Harper did much better than Emmalyn but it was a struggle for both. Kyle had already been able to feed them the day before, so I know they were already introduced to the bottle. The nurses in the nursery were trying to help me but even they had a hard time getting the girls to latch. I was only allowed to let them try nursing for 30 minutes. Apparently that was the time limit given to preemies. If they didn't feed very much, then the nurses ended up supplementing with formula. Obviously I didn't want them on the bottle or formula, especially this early but there wasn't much I could do.
On Sunday, I was moving around a little better. Starting the day before I had been able to walk all the way to the nursery, but very slowly. I also had to use the wheel chair to hold onto like a walker. That continued into Sunday. The babies were able to come into our room, too, which was exciting since I had been walking down to the nursery every 3 hours which was annoying. Now, with the babies in the room with us, I could just breastfeed them there!
A friend of ours, Molly, stopped by to visit which was nice. She was really excited to see the girls. We also had some other visitors stop by that Kyle had known for a long time from Ohio. It was nice to see some people other than nurses and doctors!
That night was a struggle. The girls weren't sleeping much and kept crying. Naturally, I started crying and couldn't stop, too. We ended up taking the girls back down to the nursery so we could get some rest and we were told they had lost quite a bit of weight because of their constant fussiness. This made me cry even more because I felt like an awful mother already who was hurting her newborn babies! The nurse witnessed this meltdown and tried to reassure me but I just couldn't stop because I was exhausted which made it even worse. She told us to go back to the room and sleep, and to skip trying to breastfeed the next feeding. Being exhausted doesn't help with milk production. When we got back, I cried a little more but eventually fell asleep and was able to sleep for several hours.
Monday, the babies were still not gaining any weight so they kept them in the hospital. I was asked if I wanted to stay as a patient or be discharged and just be boarded. I opted to stay as a patient. The pediatrician stopped by and talked about the twins' weight loss and asked me to stop breastfeeding and to start pumping, in addition to supplementing with formula. According to them, the breastfeeding was causing them to lose too many calories. I was bummed, of course. I wanted to get used to breastfeeding and not make it harder for the girls later on. However, I desperately wanted my girls to gain weight so I followed the doctors' orders!
My OB stopped by to see how I was doing during his spare time which was really nice. I was really glad he ended up being my OB through this whole experience!
The babies stayed in our room for the duration of their hospital stay. Sometimes they would gain weight and other times they would lose it which is why they were in the hospital for 6 days. When they gained weight twice in a row, the doctors seemed satisfied to send them home. They were finally discharged on Wednesday (and I decided to be discharged on Tuesday but was able to stay in the hospital since I was the babies' food source) but they weighed less than 5lbs each. I had to come back in the next day and then 48 hours after that to do weight checks to make sure they were still gaining weight. Luckily, the did!
Coming home marked the beginning of a new life for us. God blessed us with two beautiful girls and we can't wait to see what He has in store for us as a family!
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